Maybe We Lost This One
by moonswirl
Summary: Gleekathon, day seven hundred and fifty-five: Even though they lost Nationals, Brittany reflects and reassesses.  aka 'Judgment'


_Started my daily ficlets to make the hiatus pass, then decided to keep going with a 2nd cycle, and then a 3rd, 4th, etc through 35th cycle. Now cycle 36!_

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><p><em>Had the idea for this cycle back in July or August where I thought it'd be interesting to do <strong>a set inspired by tarot cards<strong>. My initial research then directed me to the cards of **the Major Arcana**, of which there were 22, so I combined two, which got me to 21, making this a cycle-long set of stories. Then I did more research, to find out about each of those cards, and what they can represent. Now I need to point out that it's a more or less basic approach. I don't go into the reverse meaning or other things, just this part.** ** If you would like the document of info I've collected and based myself on, let me know and I'll send it, since it covers the next three weeks' worth of stories. **** Lastly, in connection to the first card, **'The Fool'**, and the journey through those other cards, this entire cycle will feature, in lead or supporting form, one **Brittany S. Pierce**..._

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><p><strong>"Maybe We Lost This One"<br>or 'Judgment'  
><strong>**Brittany, Bartie, Brittana, New Directions **

Waking up that morning, getting ready to go to school after they'd come just come back from New York, and Nationals, it felt weird… especially after how things had ended. But then it didn't stay that way.

As she got up, showered, did her hair, chose her clothes, she started feeling like… she was actually okay. She didn't understand why. The apprehension she had, that was over how she might find her fellow Glee Club members, all bummed out. It had really hit them hard, she knew. All this work they'd done, even if in the end it had been a little too close in time and they should probably have started earlier… It wasn't like it didn't hit her, too. She wanted to win as much as any of them.

A little over a year ago, she remembered being in the auditorium. The twelve of them, back before Sam, or Lauren, back when they had Matt, they'd all been sitting on that stage, either near tears or right in their grip. They had lost Regionals, didn't even place. They were going to lose Glee Club and each other. Now at that time, it really had felt like the end of everything, like they'd lost and it was terrible and everything.

She also remembered the feeling when Mr. Schuester had told them those magical words: they had another year. That was the best news she'd had in a while, and it had brought on a new wave of joy.

Now here they were, at the end of that second year. Sure, they hadn't won again, but they had… Last time they'd lost Regionals, but they'd won those this year, so that would mean they'd gotten better, right? They'd gone further than ever, so even if they hadn't won at Nationals this time around, it didn't mean that had to be bad, not in the long run. They had another year, all of them together. One more year to get it right, to surpass themselves once again… It did occur to her that they might not win again the next year, that they wouldn't get another chance, not as this group, but she wasn't about to let that get in the way, not now when they were still moving on from this loss.

Plus it wasn't like this year had been just this one moment. She couldn't write off this year just because it had ended on this disappointment in New York.

This year had its ups and downs for her, and most of those revolved around her and Artie, and her and Santana… It was hard to believe how much had happened. She'd been with Artie, once, and then no more, but then back again and for so much more. He'd been her first serious boyfriend, the first one she'd been with, steadily and for a while. It had ended, not in the best ways, though really what were the odds that this should end well? They had mended a bit since then though, so she guessed it wasn't all bad. He'd been her first serious boyfriend… maybe the one and only…

It had taken her a while to understand what it was she felt for Santana, maybe because they never managed to talk about it, the two of them. But then she had, and she'd tempted fate, took the first step, hoping she'd do the same. Things hadn't gone exactly as planned there either, and what had felt like one, then two, three steps forward, just ended up with her getting yanked back… not all the way, but just barely. Since then it had been slow, tentative half-steps to regain her footing. She wasn't giving up.

And she had conquered one of her fears. At Sectionals, the idea of performing out there, in front of everyone, had been a lot scarier to her than people might have imagined. She knew she was good – another 'good thing' of this year – but she was being asked to step in front, take the lead… and it had scared her. But she'd gotten through it, in the end, in part thanks to Artie, and she would not have it any other way. That was theirs.

She'd joined the Brainiacs, too. It had been in order to fill a vacant spot at first, but she had shown she could come in handy every once in a while, and they had welcomed her. Class would have been so much more interesting if it was like this… and not just about the candy. Sometimes it made her miss the classes with Miss Holiday… she brought life to her lessons in ways it was hard to ignore… She missed her, too, because of what she'd done for her and Santana…

And she'd quit the Cheerios… almost faced death by cannon. She wouldn't have dreamed of quitting, the year before, even though she was starting to feel like Glee Club was so much better for her than Cheerios ever were. But things had changed; she'd changed. She'd had her stage fright revelation, she had Artie, and though she and Santana weren't on as good of terms as they'd been before, she still had her… thank goodness, she still had her… And she felt ready to try this, to not be a Cheerio. Plus she had all these clothes in her closet that she never really got to wear…

So they hadn't won. It was just one thing. There was still next year. Who knew what that would bring her? It could be so much bigger, take her through a brand new journey… She liked that idea. And yes, maybe they wouldn't win Nationals again, maybe. But she was going to go with the assumption that, yes, they would win. They were going to win, and they would bring home that freakishly massive trophy, put it where it belonged, among them, to show them that it was only a matter of time, that their work had really and truly paid off.

And maybe she had one more goal for this new year, beyond victories and trophies. She walked down that hall, and she saw Santana at her locker, playing with what looked like a doll. They'd seen progress through the last year, too, even if they'd also seen bad times…

Next year they could be so much better…

THE END

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><p><strong>AN: This is a one-shot ficlet, which means that signing up for story alert will not bring you any alerts.  
><strong>**In the event of a sequel, the story will be separate from this one. And as chapter stories go, they are  
><strong>******always clearly indicated as such [ex: "Days 204-210" in the summary] Thank you!******


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